February 24, 2015
In my other post I had mention I’m doing a Bible Study with Proverbs 31 and the book were reading is called:
Keep It Shut by: Karen Ehman. We have reached chapter 9 Hurling Hate Or Healing Hearts (Containing Anger).
Our Bible Verse is: Ephesians 4:26-27 Be angry, but don’t sin. Don’t let the sun go down before you have dealt with the cause of your anger, otherwise you leave room for the Adversary.
If you were to ask anyone who knew me from the past, the present and now my hubby they would all say that I have some serious anger issues. I think I need to find me a group called:
Anger Ragging Anonymous: Hi my name is Orenda and I’m addicted to anger.
My anger has no boundaries it does not care who you are or who you aren’t you cross my path the wrong way and you’re likely to get your head ripped off. Now I can say this from a kid at age ten till now that my anger has gotten way less violent and more just words, but words still stab to the core of one’s heart!
Words stick with you like super glue forever and bruises they disappear with time and heal. But words have the hardest time healing, mending and going away. Words seem to stick with you in some form or fashion and eat at you no matter how much you try to forgive, forget and move on.
Words coming from the receiving end are always lurking in the back of your mind just waiting for you to dwell on them, rehash them and then relive them all over again and again! It seems with words it’s a never-ending process when you been the one hurt by the words from the other person who just went all war on you.
Now it would seem logical to any person seeing that I have such an understanding of how angry words affect ones soul that I be the one doing less of the dishing out, but oh no so not true.
There I am in my ragging angry fits looking like some mad woman gone crazy unleashing every harsh word I can think of on this poor person who probably did something wrong to make me angry but didn’t deserve the ragging hell-fire words I just unleash on them.
Are there ways I could have handle the situation better yes according to the Bible, every psychologists out there and every book written out there on anger Christian and non-Christian. Yes if I choose to breathe first, think somehow and then respond correctly. I could have responded without violence and such harsh angry words according to them.
But my mind seems to go black and the next thing I know I’m off and running and it’s not till we get to the calm of the storm that I just realize what has happen, I’m in shock and now somehow I got to fix it. But How? When in reality it’s too late the damage has all ready been done. Now what?
This has been and still is my dilemma for years: How to be angry but sin not? This anger I have has been by far my hardest struggle yet to overcome! Drugs and alcohol for me seem to be nothing compare to my serious anger issues that I have going on at this moment. (Tears Falling)
I’ve tried and tried to not get so angry, I’ve been praying, asking God and gave it to Him to please take this anger away but to my avail like Paul it’s my thorn in my side!
It’s killing not only me but the people I know and meet who get on the wrong path with me and have to come head to head with this ragging woman!
With all my heart I hate this angry side of a woman I can become if crossed and with all my heart I want my bad anger to go away for once and for all!
I want to be that woman who can be angry but does not sin like my Father has called me to do.
Once again my name is Orenda I have some serious anger issues and in need of desperate help! Thank you for letting me share. God Bless
Love Always One God’s Children 2/24/2015