Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. Ephesians 4:29
Day 7: If You Can’t Say Something Nice Then Don’t Say Anything At All
Guilty as charged (shaking my head). If there is ever any thing in my life that I’m most guilty of it would be me not always saying nice things to my husband. I don’t do it purposely to try to hurt him or cut him down, but that is exactly what happens when things come flying from my mouth that should have never been said.
My husband has let me know on many occasions that he wish I would speak more kind to him.You would think I would get the picture and try to do better but I don’t (so very sad).
When it comes to the words that come out of my mouth I tend to not think how it may affect him or someone else, because in my mind I have rationalized why I said what I said and it is okay. But oh let the shoe be on the other foot and someone says something to me that is not nice and you better be ready for war!
The reason I’m having such a hard time with the words that come from my mouth has a lot to do with how my family raised me. And living in the world without any morality for way too long (thirty-four and half years) didn’t help one bit either. I’m not trying to excuse my behavior or say that it’s right, because it’s not!
Everyday I’m working with the Lord to speak more loving, kind and uplifting to not only my husband but to others too.
See the world I came from you just said whatever you want however you want, there was no word police in our family or out in the world. It has become the norm for me to say things like you moron what was you thinking, or how stupid can you be and not even think twice that I’m hurting someone else feelings when I say those things. Because in my mind I have many excuses to justified why I said what I said.
Like the old saying goes bad habits are hard to break and to let go. But I’m not giving up because I got God on my side and I know with Him my old habits can be broken!
And it all begins for me starting with Romans 12:2″ Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—His good, pleasing and perfect will.”
See it all starts with me taking my old truths in my mind and replacing it with His truths! You know what there is a positive in all this mess, and that is I don’t ever talk bad about my husband to others or to my family. So thank the Lord there is hope for me yet. 🙂
SO WHAT ABOUT YOU?
In Nina Roesner book she says: “some of the friends we have in our lives really should be regarded with more caution.” “A good question for us to ask ourselves is, my behavior influencing them, or is their behavior influencing me?”
“We have the opportunity to be leaders in all our relationships by whether or not we choose to be gossips, encourages, or complainers.”
For myself I have always hated gossip! This was one main reason that I always stayed away from making friends with woman and even now as a Christian I still can’t stand it! Now I am a complainer and I have gotten better, but in the past boy oh boy I would have made you run from me real quick in a hurry!
Encourager I’m trying to learn to be more of this, but it’s really hard for me because I’m more of the tough attitude no need to sit there and cry about it because it’s not going to solve anything. But God is working on this little heart of mine softening it up and giving me more empathy.
So ladies remember “if we are going to speak, at the very least be respectful, and you will impact your husband’s reputation whether he present or not! So on to the questions….
Question 1:How do you talk about your husband with your girlfriends, sister, or mother?
I don’t cut him down or chew him up and spit him out when I talk to others.
Question 2: How do you think you are doing in this area?
Question 3: Are you feeling brave? Can you take a risk? Ask your husband if he ever feels diminished by the way you talk to him? Write out what you asked and he responded? Or if you choose to stay blind in this area ask why.
Yes I am! 🙂 Yes I can! 🙂 When I asked my husband this question I just came right out and asked it, there was no beating around the bush. Him and I both all ready know I got big problems in the way I talk to him.
Questions 4: Regarding question three, is there a difference between what you thought and how he thought you were doing?
No because my problem is not with others and the way I talk about my husband, but my problem is the way I talk to him when no one is around to hear. My husband and I are both on the same page when it comes to the way I talk to him and were working on it with God’s help.
Question 5: Pray for God to help you change in this area?
For today’s dare were asked to “in an effect to communicate respect today, only speak words that will encourage your husband and refrain from communicating with him, or about him in a way that diminishes him.” Remember ladies “many of our words tear down our spouse and were not even aware of coming off as critical or disrespectful.” God Bless To All….
Remember if you are just joining us, I am doing “The Respect Dare” 40 day challenge along with the ladies at Unbroken Women.
Don’t forget to visit The Unbroken Women to enter to win gifts and to win the Kindle Fire I Dare You!
What are some areas that you need to work on?
What did you learn about the way you talk to your husband or others?
Love Always One Of God’s Children 7/16/2013