The Respect Dare

WARNING!! YOU MAY FEEL OVERLOADED DOING THESE DARES, BUT HOLD ON TIGHT BECAUSE GOD GOT YOU AND YOU WILL MAKE IT THROUGH IT! 

Day one: Expectations

Before I post what the dare is we are asked to keep a journal so that we can write our answers to the questions that we are ask. 

In our journals we are to make the heading ” Expectations For My Progress”

Question 1: What three small, tangible things would you expect to see changed in your marriage that would indicate progress was being made? 

One of my big disrespectful things towards my husband is telling him what to do, guilty as charged.

So what I would like to see is me not getting so annoyed with how long it takes to him to do things. Me letting him be the person God made him to be. Instead of me telling him what to do, me just doing it myself if it’s something I can do. Learning to ask him instead of telling him what to do. These would indicate to me that some progress was being made. 

Number two of disrespectful things that I do is being critical of his driving. This is no excuse for my behavior at all towards my husband when he drives, see I feel justified in my criticizing him because I don’t want to crash and die. Now on the other hand I am over dramatizing here because I know good and well that my husband is not going to kill me on purpose, but do to my one-million car crashes ( another exaggeration but that is how I feel) I’m afraid to drive not only with him, but with anyone!

So what I would like to see is my husband and I not going to war over who is going to drive, but allowing and trusting him to drive us where ever we need to go. Me releasing my fears to God and trusting that God through my husband will take good care of me while he is driving. That there be peace not only in me but also peace between us when he is driving. That I am praising him for his driving, instead of criticizing him. These are some things I would like to see as to me making some progress.

Number three of  disrespectful things that I do is treating my husband  like he’s a child. I never would have thought of myself in a million years as a mother hen towards my own husband. But after many times of my husband telling me “to stop treating him like he’s my child and start treating him like a husband,” I’m getting the picture. Plus on top of that now my mom chips in that she agrees with my husband and she feels sorry feel for him. OH BOY! Do I got some work cut out for me on this one.

First stop for me is recognizing what it is exactly that I’m doing that makes him feel this way and then to start working on changing my behaviors. My husband telling me less that “I’m treating him like a child.” Me not feeling so overwhelming that I got to treat him like a child, because sometimes I feel like he acts like one. Letting go of my excuses as to why it’s okay to treat him like one.

Letting go of control and letting God lead him to do what is the right things to do. Learning to trust him. Learning to see my husband as a man who loves and fears God with all his heart. Learning to accept him just the way he is quirks and all. Letting God be his judge and not I! These are some things to me that would indicate to me that I’m making some progress. 

Number four of big disrespectful things I do is cussing/yelling/name calling at him. I am so guilty on this one that it’s not even funny!  Growing up in a dysfunctional family/world didn’t help me one bit! Now my loving husband gets to be the brunt of these bad behaviors that I picked up growing up without God in my life.

So what I would like to see is me applying God’s truths to every situation that my husband and I go through. For me to stop feeling that I’m justified in my behaviors in the way I treat my husband. Stop letting my feelings control the way I act and start letting The Holy Spirit control how I react towards things. And for me to learn to new ways to express how I feel towards my husband. These are some things that I would like to see that would indicate to me that I’m making some progress. 

WOW! God has really reveal to me some big ways that I have been disrespecting my husband and disobeying Him too in the process. Lord I ask for Your forgiveness and to help me change my ways. In Jesus Name Amen.

Okay so if your like me and don’t know if you are or are not disrespecting your husband please visit: http://peacefulwife.com/2012/09/19/husbands-share-what-is-disrespectful-to-them/ 

She has made a list to what men feel is disrespectful to them. And it’s one big eye opener and it can help you on this first question. 

Last but not least she ask that on a separate piece of paper you write ” Expectations of My Husband that I Release”

Question 2: Write three tangible, measurable statements that are expectations you have held for your husband?

I will be honest at first I didn’t put nothing here because I felt that I didn’t have any expectations for my husband. But as I got ready to finish the post God put it on my heart “Orenda you do got expectations for your husband otherwise you would not be behaving the way you are.” Convicted and guilty as charge. So here are mines: 

1.) I release my husband from having to live up to my expectations that I have for him

2.) I release my husband to God to be the leader of our home 

3.) I release my husband to be free in who God created him to be

Do not share these expectations with your husband, but instead, take the paper put it in an envelope and seal it. Put a date on it from six months from now, resist the temptation to think about it. As soon as I know what we are to do with these envelopes in six months I will let you know too.

WOW, so day one is done finally! I pray that The Holy Spirit has open your eyes to somethings that you need to change, so that way we can be more respectful to our husbands and obey God. 

Before I close there is a prayer that she ask that we pray:

Heavenly Father, I know that I can ” lay my request before You” and then ” wait in expectation” of  Your provision (Psalm 5:3). My soul finds rest in You alone, and all my hope comes from You. Proverbs 16:3 tells me that if  I ” commit” whatever I do to You, then my “plans will succeed.” I claim that promise now, Lord, and ask for You for this success in my marriage. Make me like a tree planted by the water send out it’s roots by the stream and does not fear when heat comes. It’s leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never falls to bear fruit.

Father, I want to bear much fruit for Your Glory through the context of my marriage. Please help me do so, as I cannot do it on my own! No one is like You, O Lord, majestic in Holiness, awesome in glory, working wonders!

Father, I know that you have ordained me to stay in my marriage. My heart aches to feel loved by the man You have given me and sometimes ( or often) I do not. Please help me release my expectations to You, Lord. I eagerly await what you will teach me in the next six months I look forward to growing and reflecting on that growth in the future.

I humbly dedicate my efforts to You, my Lord , and pray that they are pleasing to You. In Jesus Name Amen.”

Remember if you are just joining us, I am doing “The Respect Dare” 40 day challenge along with the ladies at Unbroken Women.

Also make sure you are visiting The Unbroken Women to enter to win  gifts and to win the Kindle Fire. Check out the following two links specifically:

I Dare You!

Love Always one of God’s Children 7/10/13

6 thoughts on “The Respect Dare

  1. I am so guilty of the driving thing. I’ve tried taking a book along or playing on my tablet while we drive because as soon as I look at the road ahead I want to point out the bicyclist or pedestrian down the road or reach for “my brake” because he isn’t slowing down fast enough or is too close to the car in front of us.
    I also am quick to make a not so nice comment or response. Today I started wearing a “gripe bracelet” and making myself change the bracelet from one wrist to the other every time I say or THINK something critical or disrespectful and that bracelet has flown back and forth all day. The challenge was to be 21 days grip free (think if was from ReviveOurHearts lesson.)…. long way to go.

    • L.O.L You sound so much like me when my hubby and I drive together. What a great idea about the bracelet, I will have to try this. Thank you for the good laughter tonight. God Bless and remember one day at a time

    • Thank you, I pray the Lord Blesses you through the words He lays on my heart to write. God Bless

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