Philippians:3-4 Do nothing out of rivalry or conceit, but in humility consider others as more important than yourselves. Everyone should look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.
Dare 20: Learning To Love Unselfishly
In Nina Roesner book I loved what she said on how we should love our husbands” love sacrificially and creatively, and you will speak volumes to your husband!”
Since coming to know who Jesus Christ is and what He expected from me, was challenging for me because I had to let go a lot of what I felt I deserve and if you deserve my love a,b,c will happen. I did not understand what it meant to love unselfishly.
If anything it made me feel angry because I felt like once again I had to lay down what I wanted so someone else could have what they wanted and this was not fair at all! So when I learned that my goal was to serve my husband with unselfish love, I thought this has to be a joke! That there is no way you can serve others and not feel like a slave!
But as time went on I have learned it can happen when you serve not only your husband but others too with unselfish love it feels great! When serving others is done out of love for God, with honor, with humility and with respect it gives you this overwhelming feelings of joy! You move from I am slave attitude to I am a servant of the Lord and to His children! But I did not always see things this way at first.
See what you got to understand was the way I grew up, I saw my mother do everything she was told to do or else! In my family you were to do everything no matter how you felt, thought or wanted to. The man was the head of the house and you do as your told end of discussion! Nothing was ever done out of love or respect, it was all done out of fear. That was my whole life right till the age of thirty-four living in fear and doing things I did not want to do because of fear.
Which in return made me very bitter because I felt I had no voice in anything! Then I came to know who the Lord is and that He expected me to serve my husband out of unselfish love, are you crazy was my thoughts in my mind! Does God not know what happens when you give man too much power?
That it goes straight to their heads and they think they can run you because you are theirs to do as they please with. So no two years ago I was not with the program to love my husband unselfishly especially when he’s not up to par with me!
If he treated me like dirt well then he was going to get the same thing in return! Why should I love him unselfishly when he does not do the same for me? And this attitude right here my ladies is what will get us in big trouble, if we do not learn real quick how to love our husband no matter what they do or do not do, what they say or do not say, or how they treat us or don’t treat us. You will not have a very happy marriage to say the least.
Ladies it’s imperative that we learn how to love our husbands unselfishly, with humility and respect or our marriages will never get any better! Trust me I know what I am talking about and it’s not easy, but it’s worth all the peace you will have when your working with God and not against Him.
Your husband may or not change but there is many things God is very clear on and that is to be His light no matter what! And that no matter what is what gets a lot of us in trouble, because we are always finding ways to justified why we do what we do. But guess what that will not fly with God when judgment day comes.
So we can either learn how to get our act together now or we can keep going on pretending like were not suffering because of our own actions. Now for myself and my marriage it took an unfortunate circumstances to happen before the both of us woke up and saw what God was trying to tell the both of us all long and that was to let go of ourselves and cling on to Him. To stop waiting till the other person does something and then you will do this, instead obey Me.
As long as you got either two people or even one person trying to hold onto their self and walk with God it will not work, your marriage will never be the way God intended it to be. Both of you have to be serving and loving each other out of God’s love.
And if it need be if you are the only one who can serve out of God’s love then do it! And let God take care of the other person. Till then you be God’s light, you fight for you’re marriage and you serve your husband as God wants you to no if’s, ands, about it!
Now that I have come to understand how God wants me to love my husband out of His love and not out of my love because my love can not give my husband what he needs. My love comes with a price, but God’s love was all ready paid for with a price when He sacrifice His Son for us sinners, so that nothing is owed from us but to love others as God has loved us without conditions.
There is no more bitterness, anger, hatred in my heart towards my husband. I no longer see myself as a slave towards my husband, but I now see myself as a woman of God, one of His children and to be His light to all. I see my husband as God’s see’s my husband as His son, His child and His light for others. So now I am able to serve my husband unselfishly.
Trust me our house is not perfect, we are not walking on lilies on cloud nine somewhere. We still have our up’s and down, but getting the help we needed to learn how to be a better husband and wife as God has called us be to each other, has changed us! We put our trust in God and believe that without doubt if we do our part He will do His part.
And we are seeing many changes in our marriage that the both of us thought were not possible. But I am here to tell you if can learn how to die to yourself, let Him do the walking and love out of His love, you will see what I have seen and that’s just what God can do for you and your marriage when you obey Him. You have to have faith in God it’s imperative!
Now days it’s so easy for so many people to walk away from their marriages because it’s tough and it does not fit their program, but like the old saying goes only a coward takes the easy way out. We have something that the world does not have and that is Jesus Christ who lives in us and we need to start acting like it!
We need to start letting Jesus Christ fight our battles with us and not alone. We need to start listening and obeying what He tells us to do and not what the worlds says or our what our feelings say. We need to push through whatever it is that we are going through and trust that God will see us through it!
Ladies when we have learned to love our husband unselfishly our perspectives begin to change. My joy comes from the Lord every time I obey God no matter what my husband does or does not do. When my husbands does not see the things I do for him and I am expecting him to say something and he doesn’t. Instead of getting angry like I use to and feeling like he does not love me, I now look to God because I know He sees and appreciate everything that I do for my husband.
I have learned to let go a lot of the expectations I had for my husband. Now the only thing I expect from him is that he loves me like God has called him to. Other than that whatever my husband may or may not do for me is not of importance to me no more. Instead I appreciate all the little things that he does for me and when he does something I really love, I thank the Lord. I always remember now that my goal is to please the Lord first and by doing this I am also pleasing my husband.
Here are some great Bible Verses on how to love not only our husband but others too that sometimes can be real difficult to love http://www.openbible.info/topics/love_one_another. Remember ladies always use discernment when it comes to your marriage and listen to what God tells you to do and you will not go wrong.
SO WHAT ABOUT YOU?
Question 1: People typically experience love the way they are most comfortable receiving it. If you think about the way your husband most frequently demonstrates his affection for you, that is probably the way he most easily receives love from you? Is it and act of service, receiving a gift, affirming words or something else?
My husband loves it when I serve him out of love, but he loves it especially when I speak affirming words to him.
Question 2: What three things can you do this week to demonstrate love to your husband in a way he can “hear”it? Make a list.
1.) Encouraging him 2.) Respecting him 3.) Touching him
Question 3: Set a time to accomplish each of those things.
Question 4: How will you deal with your expectations if he does not notice what you have done?
By reminding myself God sees and that’s all that’s what matters the most.
Nina Roesner makes a great point that I agree with one hundred percent! “Over two thousand years ago, God sent His very own Son to this earth to teach, to heal, and to die, for all people who were insensitive, ungrateful, and oblivious to who He was and who turned their backs on Him.” “You are not alone if you love your man sacrificially and he is unaware.” “Perhaps God allows this to occur so we can get the picture of what God did for us.” WOW!
That is something I always think about and I’m always asking God how He does it? How can He still love so many of us still when so many us still turn our back on Him? It just makes me even more love God and appreciate all He does for me. It keeps me on my toes to just keep on loving my husband as God loves me. God Bless to all…
Remember if you are just joining us, I am doing “The Respect Dare” 40 day challenge along with the ladies at Unbroken Women.
Don’t forget to visit The Unbroken Women to enter to win gifts and to win the Kindle Fire I Dare You!
What challenges does today’s dare brings you?
Are you able to love your husband unselfishly? Why or Why not?
Love Always One of God’s Children 7/29/2013