Day 25: Things Are Not Always What They Seem..
Nina Roesner makes a great in point in stating that: “many of us get too much exercise by jumping to conclusions.” We all need to do a better job of extending grace instead of judgment, and we can often be a positive influence to others as a result.”
May I say guilty as charge (ouch)! There are many key factors of why my husband and I have so many kinks in our marriage and this is most defiantly is one of them. My husband and I are both are jumpers to conclusions type of people and this does not make good for solving anything.
We tend to jump first and then think later. When in reality we need to think first, get all the facts and then go from there, instead of taking the first clue we get and running with it.
But through the Grace of God this is something we are both learning to do and who knows maybe before God calls either one of us home we will have it down. Till then we go bumping in the night feeling our way around and asking God to be our light to guide us through our ups and downs.
One thing I have to come to understand is that marriage is like walking in the dark trying to find ways to improvise so you will not get so many bumps and bruises as you go along in your marriage. That way the next time you go trying to walk in the dark again you will be prepared there will be less bumps, less bruises, and you will all ready know what to avoid.
But it’s an ongoing learning process and we all know to get good at something it requires a lot of dedication, hard work, sweat, tears, bumps and bruises but in the end the rewards are well worth all the pain you went through to get to where you are in your marriage. Sitting around will not get the job done!
So we have to get up face the dark and the unknowns head on with God as our light making our paths straight, straighter and straighter as time goes on. But there will always be some curves because we (I) tend to be stubborn and want to do things our way. But a few bruises never hurts to remind us that we need God and it gets us back on the right track.
Bottom Line: “Many times we are frustrated with someone else’s behavior, we don’t have all the information.” “ Mature communicators ask questions and extend grace before becoming angry and, as a result, are a blessing to others.” Nina Roesner
SO WHAT ABOUT YOU?
Question 1: What would change in your relationship with your husband if you returned a perceived with a question and some grace?
WOW! For one my husband would be so shocked to the point he may not say anything else after that and I would not be so angry and hurt, but understanding of what he’s feeling.
Question 2: Think of the last time you and your husband had a disagreement. What occurred?
Sad to say it was not done in grace. My husband had been working a hard long day and I asked if he would mind doing the dishes while I ran to the store to get his lunch meat and bread so I could come back to make lunch for him. Well I got I worked all day and you been sitting on your but all day so I don’t know why you just can’t do it!
Well I in return shot back at him I understand that and but I need help and God say’s to be helpers of one another! Well needless to say we both jump to conclusions: he thought I was being lazy and I thought he was being insensitive to all I had to do in a very short time.
Question 3: Did you take the time to fully understand his opinion before communicating yours to him? Why or Why not?
No I did not instead I reacted to what he said. I just wanted him to be more understanding to all I had to do in a short time and he wasn’t so I did not bother to ask why he felt the way he felt, or find ways to be more graceful about the whole situation.
Nina Roesner gives us a dare today: “ we are to repeat back your understanding of what someone is saying to you, before you voice your opinion.” “Start your sentence with,’” If I hear you correctly, you are saying….” “Then listen for the response.” “In doing this, you will become more aware of how well you understand what is actually being said to you.” God Bless To All….
Remember if you are just joining us, I am doing “The Respect Dare” 40 day challenge along with the ladies at Unbroken Women.
Don’t forget to visit The Unbroken Women to enter to win gifts and to win the Kindle Fire I Dare You!
Love Always One Of God’s children 8/3/2013