The Respect Dare

Ecclesiastes 3:1 To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:

Day 29: Things, People, And Places Are Always Changing And They Will Never Stay The Same Whether For Good Or For Bad…..

Today’s dare is all about growing and changing through out the years of your life and your husbands.

Nina Roesner makes a great point in her book by saying; “ God’s timing and our timing are often very different.” “ When God makes a change in someone else’s life, be receptive to how that change can impact you.”

For myself this statement has a big impact on me because I have seen firsthand the effect’s whether good change or bad change can have on someone. Whether it’s a positive or negative change it can impact you for the rest of your life in a positive or negative way depending on how you take that change.

Growing up there was always changes that were happening and most them were not always for the good and it affected me big time! Instead of taking a negative and turning it into a positive I decided to make things even worse by making things more negative.

I did not believe any thing good could come out of something so horrible and so twisted. I figured in my mind once something is corrupt it will always be corrupt and anything good will always be good, but that is not the case with God.

He does not see things as we do once damage always damage or once good always good, no He see’s us as human beings who can change or improve if we allow Him to make the changes for us.

Never in a million years did I or even my parents for that fact ever thought they would see the day I would change. My parents were hoping and praying for that change in me, but they were starting to lose hope that they would ever see that day. 

As for me I felt as though I was just some lost cause without no hope. As much as I wanted to change I felt deep down inside it was not possible, because I have tried for so many years and failed at it miserably!

Not even my own children could make me the better person that I needed to be to care for them. I felt like nothing would ever change for me because I was ruin. In my mind I thought I would always be the way I was whether I like it or not, so I thought.

Things were so bad with me with all the drinking, doing drugs, partying and being very cold-hearted to the bone that I will never forget the day back in 2009 when my mom asked me: “ Can I ask you something and I said sure, she said do you ever think you are going to change?”

I was quick to reply NO! I will always party till I can’t party no more! But after that day it got me to really thinking about the way I was and that even my mom was starting to doubt that just maybe someday I will change.

She was even starting to give up on me that just maybe one day I would see the light and want something better for myself. It really bother me but what was I to do? I have tried so many times to change but every time I tried to things would just go right back to the way it was. I just gave up and accepted the fact that my life would never be any better!

But see when I was finally at the end of myself that is when God stepped in and changed me forever! It has impacted my parent’s life forever! They finally got to see that there is still hope for even someone as lost as I was and for themselves. It has changed the way they see things in their life, the way they see God and the way they see me.

The hope that was once lost in my parents God has restore it so they could believe in God and see that anything is possible with Him! So they and I would understand that we can not change ourselves on our own, but we need His help to make those changes for us. But it was all done on His timing and not mines or my parents time.

I sometimes feel that God holds out on us so that way it will have a greater impact on not only the people within our families but also with the people who God will place in our path to share with them what He has done for you!

What good is a story if there is no drama to catch the audience’s attention? I tend to think that is what God does He builds up the drama so that way it leaves you thinking wow, if He can do that for them, then what can He do for me?

If you would’ve asked me two years ago did I think people could change? I would have said NO! That people try but they always go right back to their old ways, it does not last!

But now that I have come to know God and what He has done not only for me, but for my marriage, and for my husband I would tell you there is no doubt in my mind with God anything is possible!

But you got to want it and want it bad enough to make the changes that God requires of you. He can change you but you got to be willing and believe that is possible or things will just stay the same.

When I started to turn around my negative attitude about not only about myself but my husband from there is no hope we will always be the same into a positive one that is when I started to see God really go to work on the both of us.

But as long as I sat around moping in a negative mind things never got done, because I was to busy looking for all the wrongs instead of looking for the little shimmer in the little things.

Things take time and change does too so it’s always good to be on the look out for the smallest changes and Thank God and your husband for those things.

Change can happen but do you believe in God enough to make these changes not only happen in you but also with your husband, friends, other people and your family?

There is nothing we ever can do in this lifetime to change ourselves or others but to trust God that in His timing He will change them. All we can do is let God changes us and be the light to the people around us so they can see that all things are possible with God! Be the change for others by letting God use you to impact others so that God can change them too.

                                            SO WHAT ABOUT YOU?

Question 1: What has significantly changed in you since you were a teenager or in your early twenties?

I went from the party girl to being one of God’s daughters!

Question 2: Are there certain things about your husband you are certain will never change? What are they?

No, there was time I thought it was hopeless with my husband. I thought he would never change, but God has since proven me wrong! If a person is willing to work with God to make the changes they need to make, then God will change them from the inside out.

Question 3: Based on what you know of God’s character and how He wants us to live, how can failing to recognize changes made by people around us negatively impact their continued growth?

By not recognizing the changes that they are making and not giving them the encouragement they need, they can start to feel why should they even bother. Or if we are constantly focusing on all the negative things they do and we keep pointing it out to them, we are sending them the message that they are hopeless! They will not want to keep on trying to let God change them.

Question 4: What response should we have to changes in others?

We should encourage them, and thank them for the work their trying to do to make those changes.

Question 5: What sometimes prevents you from responding that way?

In the past it was because I was too busy always looking for the wrong in my husband so I could have a reason to not love him, to get closer to him and to protect myself from getting hurt. It was my way of saying see you’re just like everyone else in my life no good! I did not want to believe he could change and be better, it was easier to see him as a screw up that would never change, because I felt I did not deserve better. 

Question 6: What small changes have you seen your husband make in the last thirty days? In the last ten years?

I’m going to go with the two years I have known him, and WOW! He has gone from being controlling to non-controlling. He went from really jealous to trusting God with his wife. He went from criticizing  me to encouraging me. He went from being non-supportive to supportive. He went from trying to control me to be the person he wanted me to be and what he thought God wanted me to be, to letting God showing me who He wants me to be and letting me be myself. There are so many more changes that God has made in him and I am so proud of my husband for allowing God to do the work in him so he could be a better husband for me.

Question 7: What have you done to acknowledge those changes? If nothing, what will you do and when?

I have thanked him, but I have never really gotten into the specifies with him. So I think later today I will tell him just how much it really means to me.

Nina Roesner has asked us to: Prayerfully consider your husband as the man he has become.” “ Ask God to show you what positives characteristics have developed in him over the last several years, and today, in writing, let him know what those characteristics are.” “ Be specific, and support each one with a reason why it is important to you.” God Bless To All….

Remember if you are just joining us, I am doing “The Respect Dare” 40 day challenge along with the ladies at Unbroken Women.

Don’t forget to visit The Unbroken Women to enter to win gifts and to win the Kindle Fire I Dare You!

Also make sure you stop by Nina Roesner website for some great info and if you need prayer please visit

Love Always One Of God’s Children 8/7/2013








5 thoughts on “The Respect Dare

  1. WOW!! Amazing blog!
    One thing that stood out to me was this:
    “when I was finally at the end of myself that is when God stepped in and changed me forever!” At the end of myself…I keep repeating that in my mind. It reminds me of scripture when it says we are to die to self…end of self. That is where I need to be…at the end of me so that He can began to do great things through me. Thank you for sharing this! It convicted my heart. I am going to go over the questions tonight and post tomorrow 🙂 Love ya sis!

  2. Thank you SIS for your comment 🙂 I think I found the Bible Verse you where looking for….Mark 8:34-35 (NIV) Then he called the crowd to him along with his disciples and said, “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me and for the gospel will save it.” God Bless

  3. Orenda, your words- the honesty you put into it and the hope you give to your readers is so valuable. You are beautiful inside & out. There are so many people who think they can’t. Change so why bother. Your story needs to be shared. I’m so glad you said yes to God. I no doubt know that God is going to use you to minister to women going through the same situation, be it themselves or with a close family member. Love ya!

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