The Respect Dare

Day 33: Letting Go Of The Reins On Our Husband…..

“Division of labor works only when both parties uphold their end of the bargain. For many woman, the temptation to do what their husbands have agreed to be responsible for is overwhelming and results in repeated rescuing and feelings of resentment.

Wives who choose to trust their husbands to keep their word no matter what, do not get in God’s way when He is trying to grow them both. All woman experience one of the results of Eve’s sin in the garden of Eden: the desire to control our husband is strong. We must not succumb to this desire, lest we interfere with what God has planned.” Nina Roesner

Guilty, guilty, and guilty as charge (Ouch)! To say the least I am written through and through this dare today and it’s not sitting well for me at all! I do more rescuing with my husband than I do helping him.

Since day one when I meet Alvin he was real good at going to work but everything else in his life was upside down. I saw some red flags and instead of running from him, in my mind I knew once we got married and I took control of everything we be just fine. And that’s exactly what I did as soon as the I do’s were said, I was running the ship. All Alvin had to do was go to work, come home and I was happy.

See before Alvin had met me he was married and his ex-wife did everything for him too, his only job was to go to work and come home. They were together for fifth teen years and that’s a lot years of never learning how to be responsible for anything. It is funny how he meets another woman who’s just like his ex-wife wanting to run the ship too.

I was raised to believe it was the man’s job to go to work and pay the bills and it was the woman job to make sure to care of everything else. So when I saw that Alvin was not too responsible handling things I had no problem stepping in and saving the day so neither one of us would drown . And I was fine with this till one day God sat down with me and showed me a few things and ever since then things have been crazy around here.

It has almost been two years since we have been married and I am still struggling to let go, trust God and let my husband lead one hundred percent. I have a hard time understanding why I need to let the boat get rocked in our home and if it means we have to drown a few times so God can teach my husband a few lesson and help him grow then so be it.

But why does it got to be that way? Why do I got to drown with my husband too because he does not how to be responsible? Why can’t he just drown by himself and let God help him? Why can’t I just be the captain, let the boat stay on it’s course and let my husband and I enjoy the smooth sailing together? To say the very least I am not too happy with drowning and being uncomfortable with my husband so God can teach us both some lesson just to help us grow!

But wait is this not what marriage is all about being a team, being one and working together with God? So doesn’t that mean then when my husband or I get burned we get burn together and together we get through it with God renewing us to whole again. And If my husband or I drown we drown together and together with God we go to great extremes to trust that God will rescue us and restore us.

Is this not what marriage is all about enjoying all the good, the bad, the ugly, the pretty. the up’s and the down’s together with God all the while learning to work together, supporting one another, fighting the daily grinds head-on together, knowing no matter what you got each other’s back and that we support each other no matter what that may cost either one of us because we trust that God knows what He is doing in our lives even though we may not understand the why’s.

Yes we are team, my husband is the head of our team and I am the follower who helps her husband to follow what God wants Him to do, not I. This is something I been trying to work on with God for a while now to let go of my fears, to let go of control, to trust God with my husband and to take the position that God has given me as a wife who follows her husband lead and to be the helper to my husband as God has asked me too.

My husband and I work together as a team but always allowing God to lead my husband, my husband to lead me and I to walk with them together through everything never trying to control anything because I trust my husband leading because he’s being lead by God. That’s what God expects from me and not some raving maniac who’s always trying to control God and her husband, but a woman who follows after God, who trust her husband to lead their home and helps him.

This is my goal to be a team player, to be the wife who follows and to help my husband all the while obeying God.

                                    SO WHAT ABOUT YOU?

Question 1: Have you ever gotten in God’s way by rescuing your? When?

Yes I have and it seems to be on a daily basis…  

Question 2: What about with your kids? Where do you need to trust God more with them?

Question 3: Did your parents let you learn lessons as a child, or did they rescue you? How has that impacted your current family relationships?

Boy did my parents and the world ever let me face my own consequences of my actions, but I never seem to learn my lessons. Instead I got more stubborn and kept doing the same thing over and over till finally I had enough! Got off the merry go around and follow God.

Is there a situation in your life where you are getting in God’s way of teaching your husband something?

Yes by me trying to control everything God is unable to teach my husband how to be the leader of his home.

Question 5: What do you sense God teaching you through today’s verse? Where do you need to be Holy?

By me not trusting God with my husband and trying to be the boss around here, I am blocking the opportunity for my husband and I to see God work in our lives.I am hindering not only my walk with God but his too. I need to let go of the reins and give them back to God!

Bottom Line: “Stay out of God’s way when He’s teaching your spouse, and just pray. Focus on what God wants to do in your life- focusing on another’s person walk with God is pious, unproductive, and to sure to make miserable!” Nina Roesner God Bless To All….

Remember if you are just joining us, I am doing “The Respect Dare” 40 day challenge along with the ladies at Unbroken Women.

Don’t forget to visit The Unbroken Women to enter to win gifts and to win the Kindle Fire I Dare You!

Also make sure you stop by Nina Roesner website for some great info and if you need prayer please visit

Love Always One Of God’s Children 8/11/2013




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